i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
