Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
