in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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