Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
