Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
