I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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