I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i think my cat just said my name.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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