It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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