This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
