does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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