Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
