A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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