Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
