yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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