Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
