My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm always down for nudity.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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