stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
