i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
