they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
