Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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