3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
