he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
