His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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