I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
