Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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