Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
