READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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