Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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