Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if only i could text you this smell
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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