I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
