FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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