TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
