There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The air was thick with penises
It's blow job season.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
