I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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