her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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