it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
