You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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