My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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