I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
