My nipple is on Facebook.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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