i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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