sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
