he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
