So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize