A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I love having hate sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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