...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
