found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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