did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
