She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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