Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
