He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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