I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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