At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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