hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
