plz talk dirty to me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
