would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize