Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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