She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
