I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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